I walk to my freezer, in my comfy sweats, grab my coconut milk coconut ice cream, plop down on the couch and turn on The Blacklist.
It's my day off.
I start writing out a list of all the things I need to do; clean, run a few errands, laundry ext ext.
I paused my brain, for the first time I had zero thoughts..... Quiet. For a brief moment it was truly quiet.
My ice cream is melting in the container.
I chuckle to myself. I'm the picturesque movie screen girl.
Living alone in a beautifully decorated apartment, eating ice cream at anytime I please, in my sweats no make up on, my cat laying behind me on the couch... I'm exactly what every young woman in her twenties is pictured in tv shows and movies....but my life isn't glamorous.
I have large black and blue circles under my eyes and they've sunk deep into head. I had a zit on my right cheek that is now a red spot that shows how imperfect my complexion is....I shouldn't have eaten the sugary ice cream ...but I did and it tasted wonderful.
I work two jobs. 60-70 hours a week of work. When do I get to enjoy my beautiful home I've worked so hard to have? When I get home take a quick shower and crash into my bed for 4-6 hours of sleep.
This is not a life I want. I'm a simple girl. As I think back to all the places I've lived the place I truly loved the best was a walk in closet. I had a mattress on the floor and my books. I worked one job.
Having a nice home, things you've wanted but never use (aka latte machine, I just use my coffee machine, easier and more coffee) is this truly the life you want?
Once my lease is up in this apartment, I am going back to a life I love with even more enjoyment. A simple home in the red wood forest 30 mins away from Santa Cruz and the ocean.
A simple home that is being remodeled and will need more remodeling and fixes when I arrive, a fiancé who is working hard and wanting to make a home worthy of his "princess". But I don't care about what the new sink in the kitchen looks like. It could be a plastic bin I wash my dishes in because it doesn't matter. What I care about is simplicity and peace.
Working alongside my future husband in our garden, painting the house, drinking coffee and listening to Today is the Day while he works on his cars. Working one job and being thrifty and creative to make a "picturesque" bohemian living room with no more than $50.
Bringing our future children to the beach and going through all the used book stores together finding our favorites to read out loud to them at bedtime. Simple.
I'm working my ass off to then give it all up for what I really want. A simple life with the man I adore.
If we all stopped our busy hectic lives and took a step back to live more peafully and simply ...oh man what a world we would have.